05 November 2009


I opened the door and looked up, seeing a familiar face, but not placing who it was. I thought nothing of it and went to continue walking. Then I felt something, a twitch or a sense coming alive after a lapse. I looked up and saw her. The chances were ridiculously against this, meeting up so far from our homes; not knowing how close a place comfort was. My stomach was suddenly full, my heart fell and I got dizzy, excited, and scared all at once. Then we spoke, I said hello to what was a familiar face, now recognized as her father. I spoke to him and her about the randomness of this meeting. Meanwhile, I had visions of the movie, ‘The Last Time I Committed Suicide’ where Neil and Mary were at the dinner table having conversation with her family while they were trying not to make it obvious how much they just wanted to stare at each other, how this close wasn’t close enough.
I looked in her eyes, wonderful as ever. Her hair had been lightened a little; I remembered it being darker and shorter, but not by much either way. And we stared, although it was obvious to me we were taking turns, her staring at me as I looked away, and then reversed.
God, I was nervous. I could not get words out I was so awestruck. I felt my throat get dry and had to stutter and clear it a few times. I had been in situations like this before, but never like this. I never felt like this; excited that it happened. I hardly felt awkward, if you ignore the lump in my throat and down to my stomach. However, that was enough to make me nervous. Enough to make me think ending the conversation was maybe best; Not because I wanted it to end, but because I did not want it to end at all. I was afraid I might make a fool of myself in front of her father, the way my stomach was dancing around, to match all of the words and feelings bouncing around in my head. So, we ended the conversation. I walked to my car, conscious not to look back until I sat down. Not wanting to make it obvious how awake I suddenly felt. I sat down and took a long breath. Amazed, I started the car, and the radio kicked on, giving me another jump. I had left the iPod on and on random while I went into the store and it was mid song. A song that always made me think of her. A song she loved the first time I shared it with her. It only made the situation make more sense, the coincidence. It fit. I back out of the parking spot. Purposely going the long way so I could face right into the store I just left, the store they were in. She was in the front door, on display, pretending to look at the racks with her father, while she looked out at me. I got to the front of the store and turned toward the exit. We looked at each other and waved at each other. I was curious if she felt anything I did. I was curious if this was random, coincidence, or fate.

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