Three Years Short Of Two Decades

Gently grazing my leg as I walked by
uttering a soft meow hello
waiting for me to sit
so you could climb your way
from my lap to my back

Perched on my right shoulder
as if your listened while I cried over the many
losses and disappointments of living
half-closing your eyes
as you massage a purr against my neck
reminding me that you are still here

Relieving the every day stresses in my back
one step at a time as you tip toed across
curled up within the warm covers wrapped over me
I stared into the emerald field of your eyes
the sight fading as I gradually fell asleep

Slowly the lump grew
changing your position on my shoulder
your stance
your leaps
changing your meow
from hello to a cry

Everyday putting off your pain
out of selfishness and love
out of fear that I may have to live without you
coming home to blood marking where you have been
the inevitable is obvious

Holding you as you resist to the needle
you look at me with fear
I just stare in disbelieve of the actions
a red ribbon of blood sucks into the liquid
and then empties into you

An hour-like minute passes
you look up at me and cry
you lick my arm as your movement slows
leaving your tongue out as you slowly drift
from sleep to silence

I lay here staring into darkness
within the covers wrapped around me
wishing I had healed you months earlier
wishing I could undo the impossible
without you I cannot sleep